i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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