This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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