i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize