NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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