so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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