Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
