It was confusing and full of hummus
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
