I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I need water and some morals
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
