under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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