Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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