I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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