How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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