I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
