i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
