hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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