Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
