I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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