so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
