he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
