i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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