It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
