Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
