I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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