Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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