So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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