high people should be assigned attendants
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
