based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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