she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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