If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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