I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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