But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
