I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
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You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
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My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So much Jack, so little girl.
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