He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
