I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
