I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
