How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
