Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
