The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
