I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
