I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
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We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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