do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
