So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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