i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
