Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
