Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
