if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
