Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
