i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
