Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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