I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
