Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
