Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
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I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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