i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
