I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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