proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
