It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
