I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
