Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
