people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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