Me too!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
