lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
