Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
