my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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